I’m Obsessed with this Chick (and you will be too)

“There’s one thing that is guaranteed to increase your feelings of control over your life: a bias toward action.”  -Mel Robbins

Oh. My. God.

I have found a chick who gives one of the most simple techniques to creating the things you want in your life, and it’s so ridiculously simple it’s almost unreal. Her name is Mel Robbins, and after listening to a podcast she did with Lewis Howes, I was hooked on every word.

Her method is this: When you’re feeling an inclination to do something, get up and go do it within 5 seconds of deciding to do it. Count down 5,4,3,2,1 in you’re mind, and launch yourself into action. I’m kind of butchering it, but I’ll elaborate further. Mel says that there is a 5 second window we have between feeling the feeling to do something, and then our brain giving us every stupid reason why we shouldn’t go do it.

Like in the mornings when you hit the snooze button. You know you should be getting up, but then all of a sudden all of these alluring little voices start sounding off in your mind. “Come on, just stay in bed for five more minutes, who cares. Ohhh, this bed is so warm. God, these sheets are so soft, the comforter is so squishy, I feel like I’m in a cloud. What’s five minutes more, you’re going to be so much more well rested if you get another five minutes.” But then, it’s forty minutes later and you’re scrambling to get yourself together before you have to go off to work or school.

And the problem is, we do this in every area of our life. We (or at least me) constantly put stuff off. We can get really geared up to do something, get all excited about the new workout routine we are going to start, all the new recipes we will try, finally booking that ticket to travel, or getting up early so you can start on that blog you’ve been meaning to start forever. But we hit the snooze instead, thinking that that extra little bit of time doesn’t make a big difference.

But it does.

It literally makes all the difference.

Because that five minutes turns into five days, weeks, months, years… and we look around, seeing the time past on the calendar, still in the same place we were before. And we think, “What gives? I had all these lofty goals, these ambitions, and I’m still in the exact same place. I’m not closer to my ideal body, I still don’t know how to cook, and my passport is still blank (I write this as my passport is, yes, blank. But I just found out about this five second rule, so give me a break).

We have got to stop waiting for the perfect moment and stop being so f-ing terrified of failure. That’s not living. That’s being frightened of imaginary ghosts that only exist in your head. So, decide on something you want to accomplish, and do it. Don’t wait, don’t think, don’t contemplate and make check lists. Just go get that sh*t done.

If you want a hot bod. Don’t debate on going to the gym. The second you think about it, get your tennis shoes on, throw your hair up, and go do it.

You can practice this in every area of your life big and small, and use it to break habits like procrastination, anger, depression, anxiety… here are some examples of how you can use the five second rule.

-You’re out at a bar and see someone you like. Count down 5,4,3,2,1 and launch yourself into the situation. Go up to them and say something as simple as “hey”. Just get yourself out of your comfort zone of being scared of rejection. You can ask if they are single, say you’d love to grab a coffee or something sometime. If they aren’t single, then who cares. Move on to the next, there are like 6 billion people out there. Now you know and you won’t have to kick yourself later for not at least trying. You eliminate doubt and assumptions by being bold and asking for what you want.

-Say you have a habit of getting angry easily at your partner, friend, parent… the next time you feel yourself wanting to snap, count down 5,4,3,2,1 and change how you were going to react or remove yourself from the situation. The key here is to throw a chink in your habits.

-You want to get in shape but you keep putting off going to the gym. Instead, while you’re sitting on the couch throwing potato chips back and then wonder who ate the entire bag (spoiler alert, it was you), count down 5,4,3,2,1 and launch yourself off that couch. Since you’re already standing, go get your shoes on and at least go for a walk. Tell yourself it doesn’t even have to be that far, just get yourself moving. Every time I don’t really feel like getting up to go work out or go for a walk, I tell myself just to get ready and I don’t have to even go to far. But once I’m out there and the air smells fresh and I pat myself on the back for actually doing it, I end up going way longer than I originally planned.

 

We have to just get up, and go do what we want. We have to stop waiting so much because it literally is killing your dreams. Like smothering them slowly. This rule helps us stop being so lazy, scared, and hesitant and helps as take action before we even realize we are doing it. I definitely recommend you listen to her podcast with Lewis. She also has a great TedTalk you can watch the condensed clip here, and a longer clip here.

And, lastly, here are some quotes from Mel herself:

“Hesitation is the kiss of death. You might hesitate for a just nanosecond, but that’s all it takes. That one small hesitation triggers a mental system that’s designed to stop you. And it happens in less than—you guessed it—five seconds.”

“What Exactly Is the #5SecondRule? The Rule is a simple, research-backed metacognition tool that creates immediate and lasting behavior change.”

“You are one decision away from a completely different life.”

–Much love, Callie ❤

What Do You Feel Best Doing?

Good morning all ❤ I hope your days started off bright and sunny!

For awhile, I wondered why I didn’t really enjoy going out to bars every weekend and getting drunk. I wondered why I had more fun doing yoga or reading a good book, cooking or talking with friends. I felt like there was something wrong with the fact I wasn’t looking to party all the time. ( I know I probably write about this all the time, but oh well). Even when I did try it, it never quite cracked up to that Instagram version of fun (you know, the totally fake one, but still I think a small part of it believes it’s real on someee level).

But, the more I just follow my heart, the happier I am doing the simpler things. I have genuine fun in having deep conversations for hours, trying out new recipes, or doing yoga or walking outside. It’s almost summer now, and the air smells like a mix between bonfires and fresh bloomed flowers. When I am out there with that scent, feeling the warm air softly blowing against me, I feel peace and a huge rush of happiness. It’s simple, it doesn’t require thought, it is just beautiful, refreshing, and serene.

I am happy. And I find everyday happiness in the simplest things. I think we kind of miss out on seeing it sometimes, when our minds are racing and we are on a quest to find happiness. Our egos try to tell us happiness is this elaborate and complicated thing to come by, and that we have to be out doing crazy, picture perfect things in order to obtain it. We have to buy numerous things, have this many likes, have this many friends, be so exotic that you’ve traveled the country three times already… basically our egos tell us that enough is never enough, and that we are never enough.

And that’s why it’s so funny that there is such fulfillment and happiness in the simple, little things. It’s not about going off and doing something crazy, it’s about those midnight talks on the couch with someone you love, or the smell of coffee in the morning, the fresh air hugging your skin, the blueness of the sky. There is love, beauty, and happiness in those simple things. And maybe I just sound like a crazy hippie to you, and that’s cool I don’t really care. I’m just telling you about my experience.

Because I’ve been the girl who strived, strived, strived or more, more, more experiences but every time I was left feeling more depressed and unfulfilled. I’m finding more and more happiness in the little things, so I thought I’d share this so you can find them too.

And I just want to make it clear that I don’t think there is anything wrong with trying new things, traveling the world three times, or buying what you want. Those things can be fun, they just won’t fill up that feeling like enough will never be enough, because that’s an ego trap. Just listen to your heart, and know that you are already enough. When you fill filled up with love already, you don’t have to go out searching everywhere for it, it’s in you. So, then when you do go off on an adventure, you’ll already be happy, instead of going on a trip to prove something to yourself or to try to find happiness out there. (I’ve don’t that too, and the trips ended up not being fun at all).

Just know that you are enough. And that some of the most wonderful things in life are the simplest.

What do you feel your best doing?

Much love–Callie

A Poem: Phenomenal Woman

I read a poem recently and it quickly became one of my favorites so I thought I would share. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did ❤

Phenomenal Woman by Maya Angelou

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I’m telling lies.
I say,
It’s in the reach of my arms,
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.
I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It’s the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.
Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can’t touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them,
They say they still can’t see.
I say,
It’s in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.
Now you understand
Just why my head’s not bowed.
I don’t shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing,
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It’s in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need for my care.
’Cause I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.
–Much love, Callie ❤

A Few Important Quotes from ‘The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck’

“I came to the startling realization that if there really is no reason to do anything, then there is also no reason not to do anything; that in the face of the inevitability of death, there is no reason to ever give in to one’s fear of embarrassment or shame, since it’s all just a bunch of nothingness anyway, and that by spending the majority of my short life avoiding what was painful and uncomfortable, I had essentially been avoiding being alive at all.”

“There is nothing to be afraid of. Ever.”

“Dogs don’t sit around and worry about their career. Cats don’t think about their past mistakes or wonder what would have happened if they’d done something differently. Monkey don’t argue over future possibilities, just as fish don’t sit around wondering if other fish would like them more if they had longer fins.”

“We feel bad for feeling bad. We get angry about getting angry. We get anxious about feeling anxious. What is wrong with me?”

Why it’s Stupid to Have Guilt Over Having Depression

My depression used to be incredibly severe. My mounting anxiety sucked. But on top of all of that, I had tremendous guilt I even had depression. I had no reason to be depressed. I had a loving family, a working body, a house, food, life was good. So, I didn’t think I had any right to feel depressed. I wasn’t sitting there thinking having a pity party about my sadness. I was a lot harder on myself, telling myself to snap out of it, that I didn’t have any reason/right to be feeling that way.

But that only made it worse. And what I finally realized was that it’s perfectly okay to feel depressed, even if you don’t see an external reason. It’s okay to sometimes feel separate, alone, anxious, sad… we are human, so we should give ourselves a break. Give yourself some love instead of criticism, and slowly you’ll find your way out of it. Here are some tips that helped me get rid of mine… and it doesn’t mean that I don’t still have moments of utter confusion or sadness, but there a lot less frequent.

1.) Change your diet. Processed foods, animal products, and crap fuel for your body will bog you down and make you feel crappy.

2.) Exercise. I would perpetually get super excited for my new workout routine, only to follow it for about a week and then give up. But then I decided to start smaller. Set your goal to walk 3-4 times a week, a mile each time. Build up your routine little by little to make sure it sticks, just make sure you’re moving and getting fresh air.

3.) Get tested for metal toxicity. I had toxic levels of aluminum in my system, contributing a lot to my depression and anxiety. I got rid of it naturally by taking holistic medicine.

4.) Meditate. Sometimes clearing your head (or quieting the constant chatter just a bit) can help you get out of the suffocating thoughts and gain a little perspective on everything.

5.) Breathe. Sometimes when we feel anxiety or deep sadness we forget to take deep breaths. By breathing deeply you ground yourself and bring yourself back to the present moment.

I know all of these tips are simple, but they work. I know, because I’ve done them all and it has helped me immensely. Make sure to remember to give yourself a break and lots of love.

–Much love–Callie

 

Things that come up when your an intro/extrovert

For the first time in what felt like awhile (probably a few months) I went out drinking with friends. I didn’t drink that much, maybe like one and a half vodka sodas, but I found myself with that old familiar feeling of not really enjoying myself. Some of the night was fun, but I just kinda felt like I’d rather be elsewhere. I found myself thinking of another friend whom I have fun conversations with all the time, and I feel calm and happy in their presence. So, I left the bar to hang out with that person instead. We listened to music and hung out until like 5am, and it was awesome.

But the question remains: Why is there still a tiny part of me that feels weird that I don’t enjoy going out and clubbing? Why is there a little part of me that is bothered by that?

I honestly don’t know. It could be the ego, it could be that it’s just not my thing, but it does help that I’ve stopped looking at social media. Even though we are aware it’s all fake, we still think we are the odd ones for not living up to the expectations we set for ourselves, based on what other people are doing.

I think part of the “problem” is that I’m an intro/extrovert. I love hanging out with people, talking to them, getting to know about their lives-and I assume since I love people, that I should love going out and drinking at clubs. But just because you enjoy socializing doesn’t mean it has to only be done by going out to bars. There are numerous other ways to fulfill your extrovert needs, without being in situations that aren’t really your thing.

So, don’t feel weird if you don’t enjoy what the majority of people are into. Just do your own thing and you’ll find the happiness you’ve been looking for. And if you slip off the path once in awhile, don’t sweat it. I do it, other people do it, it’s human nature. Stop being so hard on yourself and just enjoy your life.

-Much love–Callie ❤

The one small thing you can do to get you from where you are to where you want to be

Good morning all ❤

I’m almost finished reading The Compound Effect by Darren Hardy, and I can honestly say it’s one of the best books I’ve ever read. It’s simple and to the point, and in this post I’m going to share one of my favorite ideas from this book to help you reach your goals:

Tracking 1 trait.

The Compound Effect is all about how the little things add up. So, for example, say you wanted to run a marathon but you’re totally out of shape. When you think about the challenge ahead it can be so utterly daunting that you decide not to do the marathon all together, and then you’re probably going to go sit on the couch, watch mindless tv, and eat chips.

But, if you use The Compound Effect of tracking one trait, then you will be able to tackle any challenge. And this is how you do it:

1.) Decide on the goal you want to accomplish. It can be anything. Do you want to eat healthier? Read more books? Run a marathon? Increase flexibility? Spend more time with your partner? Pick out something you’ve been wanting to do for awhile, but that kept getting pushed to the back burner because you weren’t sure where to even start, or that the goal seemed to big to conquer.

2.) Get a piece of paper and start tracking that singular trait. If you want to eat healthier, then keep a food journal and be meticulous about what you write down. If you want to be better with your finances, track down where you’re spending your money… write down every cent that you spend. It’s simple, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy. People get lazy. Don’t be lazy, if you’re going to track, then really track your goal. If your goal is to run a marathon, then decide to track your workouts. This way, at the end of the week you will be able to look back and see the habits you kept that week, and if it moved you further or closer to your goal.

Try this for thirty days and see the difference in your life.