I’ve never really understood the concept of a “forever person” or “your one soul mate”. Even when I was younger, the idea that there is one special person you’re supposed to find, marry, and then grow old with seemed exhausting. I was only like eight when I remember thinking how tiring it would be to scour every corner of the world trying to find them. The idea seemed scary, unappealing, and stressful, so I put it out of my mind.
But that message never really leaves our minds. Instead, it seems to grow bigger as we grow older. We are constantly bombarded with messages from the media and society that it’s essential to find your soul mate and one true love, but I don’t buy any of that. I don’t think there is just one single person out there for us. There are billionssss of people in this world, and we are supposed to honestly think there is only one match for us?
I don’t doubt that there are soul connections, because I’ve felt them. I’ve gotten that little flutter in my gut when I met someone and felt like I already knew them. But that feeling wasn’t limited to relationships with guys. I’ve had that feeling with friends I’ve met, people I’ve worked with, and yes-even some intimate relationships. But, just because I got that feeling didn’t mean I wanted to tie them down and claim them as mine, because that didn’t seem quite right either.
I think it’s a lot easier to flow with life instead of trying to force things. I’ve been in relationships I’ve forced, and guess what-it didn’t work. We put all this pressure on one person to be the source of our love. We put all of our eggs in their basket and then get stressed and sad when things didn’t work out.
I remember the first time I was in a relationship and felt a love I hadn’t experienced before. When it ended I was totally hurt and sad. I wasn’t dramatic enough to think I would never fall in love again, but that doesn’t stop you from hurting any less. And, as cliché as this sounds, it wasn’t until I stopped looking to fall in love that I found it again, only this time it happened in a different way.
I got that magical little love feeling again, but it wasn’t for a guy I was even interested in. I loved hanging out with him, but it was always purely platonic. I couldn’t understand why I felt love for him when I knew there would be no future. And then… something weird happened.
I started feeling that little love feeling a lot, and with different people. I felt a rush of love for friends, for co-workers, even for people I just met. And I’m not talking about that romantic love you see in rom-coms, I just mean a pure, genuine love for another being.
There are times I feel overwhelmed with love for others, and to be honest it’s awesome. I don’t feel like I need to settle in a relationship or to search for some guy to date because I’m already filled up with so much love and gratitude for the people around me. Maybe it sounds all weird and “new-agey”, but I don’t care. It’s the truth. And I think if we as women (or men) stop putting so much emphasis on “relationship love” and just focus on the love that’s around us, then we would all feel a lot happier and a lot more calm. There wouldn’t be this stress of the clock ticking away, wondering when your soulmate would waltz into your life.
You can just enjoy the ride of life and have fun with the people that come in to it. And the best part is, when you do find someone you really click with in a romantic sense, you won’t feel the need to cling to them because you know that even if things end, you’ll be just fine. We need to fill ourselves up with love and be grateful for the people who are already in our lives. We need to be in love with ourselves and with life because that’s when life really feels the most wonderful.
I wish you all so much love ❤