For the first time in what felt like awhile (probably a few months) I went out drinking with friends. I didn’t drink that much, maybe like one and a half vodka sodas, but I found myself with that old familiar feeling of not really enjoying myself. Some of the night was fun, but I just kinda felt like I’d rather be elsewhere. I found myself thinking of another friend whom I have fun conversations with all the time, and I feel calm and happy in their presence. So, I left the bar to hang out with that person instead. We listened to music and hung out until like 5am, and it was awesome.
But the question remains: Why is there still a tiny part of me that feels weird that I don’t enjoy going out and clubbing? Why is there a little part of me that is bothered by that?
I honestly don’t know. It could be the ego, it could be that it’s just not my thing, but it does help that I’ve stopped looking at social media. Even though we are aware it’s all fake, we still think we are the odd ones for not living up to the expectations we set for ourselves, based on what other people are doing.
I think part of the “problem” is that I’m an intro/extrovert. I love hanging out with people, talking to them, getting to know about their lives-and I assume since I love people, that I should love going out and drinking at clubs. But just because you enjoy socializing doesn’t mean it has to only be done by going out to bars. There are numerous other ways to fulfill your extrovert needs, without being in situations that aren’t really your thing.
So, don’t feel weird if you don’t enjoy what the majority of people are into. Just do your own thing and you’ll find the happiness you’ve been looking for. And if you slip off the path once in awhile, don’t sweat it. I do it, other people do it, it’s human nature. Stop being so hard on yourself and just enjoy your life.
-Much love–Callie ❤