I’m Obsessed with this Chick (and you will be too)

“There’s one thing that is guaranteed to increase your feelings of control over your life: a bias toward action.”  -Mel Robbins

Oh. My. God.

I have found a chick who gives one of the most simple techniques to creating the things you want in your life, and it’s so ridiculously simple it’s almost unreal. Her name is Mel Robbins, and after listening to a podcast she did with Lewis Howes, I was hooked on every word.

Her method is this: When you’re feeling an inclination to do something, get up and go do it within 5 seconds of deciding to do it. Count down 5,4,3,2,1 in you’re mind, and launch yourself into action. I’m kind of butchering it, but I’ll elaborate further. Mel says that there is a 5 second window we have between feeling the feeling to do something, and then our brain giving us every stupid reason why we shouldn’t go do it.

Like in the mornings when you hit the snooze button. You know you should be getting up, but then all of a sudden all of these alluring little voices start sounding off in your mind. “Come on, just stay in bed for five more minutes, who cares. Ohhh, this bed is so warm. God, these sheets are so soft, the comforter is so squishy, I feel like I’m in a cloud. What’s five minutes more, you’re going to be so much more well rested if you get another five minutes.” But then, it’s forty minutes later and you’re scrambling to get yourself together before you have to go off to work or school.

And the problem is, we do this in every area of our life. We (or at least me) constantly put stuff off. We can get really geared up to do something, get all excited about the new workout routine we are going to start, all the new recipes we will try, finally booking that ticket to travel, or getting up early so you can start on that blog you’ve been meaning to start forever. But we hit the snooze instead, thinking that that extra little bit of time doesn’t make a big difference.

But it does.

It literally makes all the difference.

Because that five minutes turns into five days, weeks, months, years… and we look around, seeing the time past on the calendar, still in the same place we were before. And we think, “What gives? I had all these lofty goals, these ambitions, and I’m still in the exact same place. I’m not closer to my ideal body, I still don’t know how to cook, and my passport is still blank (I write this as my passport is, yes, blank. But I just found out about this five second rule, so give me a break).

We have got to stop waiting for the perfect moment and stop being so f-ing terrified of failure. That’s not living. That’s being frightened of imaginary ghosts that only exist in your head. So, decide on something you want to accomplish, and do it. Don’t wait, don’t think, don’t contemplate and make check lists. Just go get that sh*t done.

If you want a hot bod. Don’t debate on going to the gym. The second you think about it, get your tennis shoes on, throw your hair up, and go do it.

You can practice this in every area of your life big and small, and use it to break habits like procrastination, anger, depression, anxiety… here are some examples of how you can use the five second rule.

-You’re out at a bar and see someone you like. Count down 5,4,3,2,1 and launch yourself into the situation. Go up to them and say something as simple as “hey”. Just get yourself out of your comfort zone of being scared of rejection. You can ask if they are single, say you’d love to grab a coffee or something sometime. If they aren’t single, then who cares. Move on to the next, there are like 6 billion people out there. Now you know and you won’t have to kick yourself later for not at least trying. You eliminate doubt and assumptions by being bold and asking for what you want.

-Say you have a habit of getting angry easily at your partner, friend, parent… the next time you feel yourself wanting to snap, count down 5,4,3,2,1 and change how you were going to react or remove yourself from the situation. The key here is to throw a chink in your habits.

-You want to get in shape but you keep putting off going to the gym. Instead, while you’re sitting on the couch throwing potato chips back and then wonder who ate the entire bag (spoiler alert, it was you), count down 5,4,3,2,1 and launch yourself off that couch. Since you’re already standing, go get your shoes on and at least go for a walk. Tell yourself it doesn’t even have to be that far, just get yourself moving. Every time I don’t really feel like getting up to go work out or go for a walk, I tell myself just to get ready and I don’t have to even go to far. But once I’m out there and the air smells fresh and I pat myself on the back for actually doing it, I end up going way longer than I originally planned.

 

We have to just get up, and go do what we want. We have to stop waiting so much because it literally is killing your dreams. Like smothering them slowly. This rule helps us stop being so lazy, scared, and hesitant and helps as take action before we even realize we are doing it. I definitely recommend you listen to her podcast with Lewis. She also has a great TedTalk you can watch the condensed clip here, and a longer clip here.

And, lastly, here are some quotes from Mel herself:

“Hesitation is the kiss of death. You might hesitate for a just nanosecond, but that’s all it takes. That one small hesitation triggers a mental system that’s designed to stop you. And it happens in less than—you guessed it—five seconds.”

“What Exactly Is the #5SecondRule? The Rule is a simple, research-backed metacognition tool that creates immediate and lasting behavior change.”

“You are one decision away from a completely different life.”

–Much love, Callie ❤

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What Do You Feel Best Doing?

Good morning all ❤ I hope your days started off bright and sunny!

For awhile, I wondered why I didn’t really enjoy going out to bars every weekend and getting drunk. I wondered why I had more fun doing yoga or reading a good book, cooking or talking with friends. I felt like there was something wrong with the fact I wasn’t looking to party all the time. ( I know I probably write about this all the time, but oh well). Even when I did try it, it never quite cracked up to that Instagram version of fun (you know, the totally fake one, but still I think a small part of it believes it’s real on someee level).

But, the more I just follow my heart, the happier I am doing the simpler things. I have genuine fun in having deep conversations for hours, trying out new recipes, or doing yoga or walking outside. It’s almost summer now, and the air smells like a mix between bonfires and fresh bloomed flowers. When I am out there with that scent, feeling the warm air softly blowing against me, I feel peace and a huge rush of happiness. It’s simple, it doesn’t require thought, it is just beautiful, refreshing, and serene.

I am happy. And I find everyday happiness in the simplest things. I think we kind of miss out on seeing it sometimes, when our minds are racing and we are on a quest to find happiness. Our egos try to tell us happiness is this elaborate and complicated thing to come by, and that we have to be out doing crazy, picture perfect things in order to obtain it. We have to buy numerous things, have this many likes, have this many friends, be so exotic that you’ve traveled the country three times already… basically our egos tell us that enough is never enough, and that we are never enough.

And that’s why it’s so funny that there is such fulfillment and happiness in the simple, little things. It’s not about going off and doing something crazy, it’s about those midnight talks on the couch with someone you love, or the smell of coffee in the morning, the fresh air hugging your skin, the blueness of the sky. There is love, beauty, and happiness in those simple things. And maybe I just sound like a crazy hippie to you, and that’s cool I don’t really care. I’m just telling you about my experience.

Because I’ve been the girl who strived, strived, strived or more, more, more experiences but every time I was left feeling more depressed and unfulfilled. I’m finding more and more happiness in the little things, so I thought I’d share this so you can find them too.

And I just want to make it clear that I don’t think there is anything wrong with trying new things, traveling the world three times, or buying what you want. Those things can be fun, they just won’t fill up that feeling like enough will never be enough, because that’s an ego trap. Just listen to your heart, and know that you are already enough. When you fill filled up with love already, you don’t have to go out searching everywhere for it, it’s in you. So, then when you do go off on an adventure, you’ll already be happy, instead of going on a trip to prove something to yourself or to try to find happiness out there. (I’ve don’t that too, and the trips ended up not being fun at all).

Just know that you are enough. And that some of the most wonderful things in life are the simplest.

What do you feel your best doing?

Much love–Callie

A Poem: Phenomenal Woman

I read a poem recently and it quickly became one of my favorites so I thought I would share. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did ❤

Phenomenal Woman by Maya Angelou

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I’m telling lies.
I say,
It’s in the reach of my arms,
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.
I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It’s the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.
Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can’t touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them,
They say they still can’t see.
I say,
It’s in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.
Now you understand
Just why my head’s not bowed.
I don’t shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing,
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It’s in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need for my care.
’Cause I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.
–Much love, Callie ❤

Why it’s Stupid to Have Guilt Over Having Depression

My depression used to be incredibly severe. My mounting anxiety sucked. But on top of all of that, I had tremendous guilt I even had depression. I had no reason to be depressed. I had a loving family, a working body, a house, food, life was good. So, I didn’t think I had any right to feel depressed. I wasn’t sitting there thinking having a pity party about my sadness. I was a lot harder on myself, telling myself to snap out of it, that I didn’t have any reason/right to be feeling that way.

But that only made it worse. And what I finally realized was that it’s perfectly okay to feel depressed, even if you don’t see an external reason. It’s okay to sometimes feel separate, alone, anxious, sad… we are human, so we should give ourselves a break. Give yourself some love instead of criticism, and slowly you’ll find your way out of it. Here are some tips that helped me get rid of mine… and it doesn’t mean that I don’t still have moments of utter confusion or sadness, but there a lot less frequent.

1.) Change your diet. Processed foods, animal products, and crap fuel for your body will bog you down and make you feel crappy.

2.) Exercise. I would perpetually get super excited for my new workout routine, only to follow it for about a week and then give up. But then I decided to start smaller. Set your goal to walk 3-4 times a week, a mile each time. Build up your routine little by little to make sure it sticks, just make sure you’re moving and getting fresh air.

3.) Get tested for metal toxicity. I had toxic levels of aluminum in my system, contributing a lot to my depression and anxiety. I got rid of it naturally by taking holistic medicine.

4.) Meditate. Sometimes clearing your head (or quieting the constant chatter just a bit) can help you get out of the suffocating thoughts and gain a little perspective on everything.

5.) Breathe. Sometimes when we feel anxiety or deep sadness we forget to take deep breaths. By breathing deeply you ground yourself and bring yourself back to the present moment.

I know all of these tips are simple, but they work. I know, because I’ve done them all and it has helped me immensely. Make sure to remember to give yourself a break and lots of love.

–Much love–Callie

 

The one small thing you can do to get you from where you are to where you want to be

Good morning all ❤

I’m almost finished reading The Compound Effect by Darren Hardy, and I can honestly say it’s one of the best books I’ve ever read. It’s simple and to the point, and in this post I’m going to share one of my favorite ideas from this book to help you reach your goals:

Tracking 1 trait.

The Compound Effect is all about how the little things add up. So, for example, say you wanted to run a marathon but you’re totally out of shape. When you think about the challenge ahead it can be so utterly daunting that you decide not to do the marathon all together, and then you’re probably going to go sit on the couch, watch mindless tv, and eat chips.

But, if you use The Compound Effect of tracking one trait, then you will be able to tackle any challenge. And this is how you do it:

1.) Decide on the goal you want to accomplish. It can be anything. Do you want to eat healthier? Read more books? Run a marathon? Increase flexibility? Spend more time with your partner? Pick out something you’ve been wanting to do for awhile, but that kept getting pushed to the back burner because you weren’t sure where to even start, or that the goal seemed to big to conquer.

2.) Get a piece of paper and start tracking that singular trait. If you want to eat healthier, then keep a food journal and be meticulous about what you write down. If you want to be better with your finances, track down where you’re spending your money… write down every cent that you spend. It’s simple, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy. People get lazy. Don’t be lazy, if you’re going to track, then really track your goal. If your goal is to run a marathon, then decide to track your workouts. This way, at the end of the week you will be able to look back and see the habits you kept that week, and if it moved you further or closer to your goal.

Try this for thirty days and see the difference in your life.

10 Things I learned: James Altucher

I love learning. I love podcasts, books, inspirational videos, things on running your own business, relationships… everything and anything I find interesting. I love expanding my mind and awareness, and have this constant hunger to learn more. So, I decided to start a “10 Things I learned” list. After each book or podcast or whatever, I will write down the top 10 things I’ve learned, so you don’t have to go through hours of material and can get the best nuggets of advice quickly!

10 Things I learned: James Altucher

1.) To do a “10 things I learned list” after learning something new. Write down what you found most valuable and make sure you apply those things to your own life!

2.) Always have “plus, minus, and equal” people around you. The “plus” is people who you can learn from; mentors, YouTubers doing what you wanna do, podcasts, authors… anyone who will enhance you and help you get closer to your ideal life. Your “equal” people are those who are roughly on your same level of learning. People you can have friendly competition. And “minus” people are those whom you can teach. By teaching, we help solidify our own learning.

3.) Find out what you want you want to do in life, and surround yourself with people who are living that kind of life. If you don’t know anyone personally, seek them out online and fill your mind with their advice and tips on how they got to where they are.

4.) We are always in the process of reinventing ourselves, but we don’t realize it until we really decide what parts of ourselves/our lives we want to reinvent. Decide who you wanna be, who do you wanna be like, and then study people with those qualities.

5.) Live in the moment. Give up anything that is cluttering up your life/mind.

6.) If you’re interested in something, just go for it. Don’t ask for permission, ask for forgiveness.

7.) “End, fog, beginning”- Our transformation stories usually follow the same pattern of end, fog, beginning. The end of the old us, the person we used to be. The fog is the period of time we are trying to figure our who we are and what to do next in our lives.  And the beginning is the new us.

8.) Don’t charge for things in your business at first (if it’s like a blog or something). Just build a site with a lot of good content. Have a vision of what the ideal world would look like and write from that place (and make sure that you can reference it back to yourself personally).

9.) Post your articles on as many mediums as possible; Linkeden, Facebook, guest post, do podcasts, write a book, YouTube… get yourself out there as much as possible. Build an email list. Email list’s + a lot of good content = success.

10.) Try to “better” yourself 1% everyday in the health of your mind, body, spirit, and creativity. Obviously, “better” is subjective, so just base it off of whatever it means to you.

I hope you enjoyed this list and took something valuable away that will help you in creating a life you love!

Much love–Callie ❤

 

Stop caring

Seriously, stop caring what people think. Stop caring what your ego is telling you. and start listening to your soul. Do what’s best for you, for your soul, and forget about other people. Stop trying to find a relationship and focus on yourself and your career. Have fun with life, make plans and then follow through. Stop thinking everything has to be permanemnt and just enjoy things in the moment.

If you’re seeing a guy, stop wondering where it will go and just enjoy his company for the time being. If you truly enjoy him in the present you will 1.) not settle, because if you are living in the present you wouldn’t want to spend time with someone you didn’t really care about 2.) you won’t stress where is this going… who cares! If you’re having fun with him, just enjoy it. Stop thinking everything has to end in permanence. It doesn’t. Have a blast with him, let him be him, and don’t try to change anything, Have your own life and own thing going on, just let him be like this fun little bonus.

Let people be who they are. If you like them, fantastic! Let them be in your life and enjoy the shit out of them. If you have a million things you wanna change about them, then why are you even hanging out with them?

Enjoy their company for the moment, love their being, and leave it at that. Don’t let your mind wander to where is this going, if he wants a relationship he will eventually ask, and if he doesn’t then why would you wanna force him into one anyway? Don’t you wanna be with someone who loves you for you and actually wants to be with you? And what does a relationship even mean? Can’t we just enjoy someones company without it having to be something grand? Just enjoy them for them and love them in the moment and don’t let your mind wander.

Society tells us that love means marriage, it means your with that person the rest of your life. It tells us (women especially) that we need to have a relationship to be fulfilled and happy. Butttt whyyy? Figure out how to take care of yourself before you expect someone else to come along. And if you do have an idea of your “ideal” mate, then make sure that you are the type of person that would attract a person like that.

The second you are done hanging out with them, go back to your own life. Hang out with your friends, read books, work on your career, eat healthy and stay active. Just let people roam the way they want to, the people who come back really want to be in your life and in your company, how cool is that?!

I could go on and on about this. I just feel like people put so much pressure on ourselves and each other. We think our lives are supposed to look the way society tells us, and that’s a bunch of BS. You don’t want to get married? Cool. You want a huge wedding with a pricess dress and tiara? Awesome. You want kids? Fun. You don’t want them? Great! We have to stop looking at what is best in societies eyes and just do what’s best for us. and this is whats best for me at the moment:

I’m enjoying the sh*t out of life. I am working towards all of my dreams that look more and more like reality every day. I don’t care if I have a relationship or not. For awhile I wanted one because I felt that’s what I was supposed to be doing. but honestly I don’t care. I want to travel, to have fun, to write and work towards my goals. Even if a guy comes into my life, I’d rather just enjoy him in the moments I was with him, to love him totally, and then let go of him and expectations once I left.

Let go of your expectations. Hitch your wagon to the present moment, to the best, happiest, healthiest version of yourself, to your goals. Love yourself, love others, and enjoy life. Stop overthinking, stop with the expectations, just let people be, and let yourself be. I promise your life will be happier because of it. When you stop trying to control everything and just flow with life, that’s when the magic occurs, that’s when all the good in life comes.

Write a list of all the things you wanna do, big and small. Want to learn a language? Go salsa and belly dancing? Go to Paris, Australia? Go on a roadtrip? Have fun with life without caring about the end results. Just do what you wanna do, and don’t care what others think. Be your most authentic self, and your life will be far beyond your wildest dreams.

Much love–Callie